Manners of the Unconventional Virgin

It must have been the windless night that made her uneasy.

She is supposed to be in her best element. The ornately designed interior of the restaurant seems to compliment the beige of her gown.

"The view of the harbor is breathtaking," she uttered mindlessly. And as the Frenchman took to notice how the view paled in comparison to her stunning beauty, she almost gave a shy smile.

It was a most reserved gesture for Monica. Something that she rarely gives with genuine intention. Growing up in an old, conservative neighborhood in Cebu, she was no stranger to the numbered gracefulness of her family.

That was history, she assured herself again. When she was about to finish her secondary education, her family lost their business and eventually their lifestyle.

Forced to such drastic change of environment, Monica has resorted to City College to buy herself an education to sustain her future.

Being the only woman in a family of pampered men, Monica has to look after her lowly brother & a desolate father. Her mother did not survive the crisis that led to a suicide. It was almost impossible for her to support a family which has nothing, even the will to hope.

She came to Singapore with the help of an old lover. For the longest time (I believe she was in her 2nd year of Hotel & Restaurant Management), she was the kept woman of a known Cebuano businessman. In a first class hotel in the Lion City (where she works as Front Desk officer), she met up the many men that have financially supported her & her family.

At one instance, I overheard her advise to her brother how to start up her planned business. You wouldn't hear her complain, it wasn't part of her system. She generously gave her time & life to them, silently hoping that one day they will all get back to their feet.

She was so determined to reach her goals that she valiantly fought any emotional attachments that might hinder her "relationships". She knew what she wanted from them, she knew why they needed her. It has to remain that way.

The look of old money is what you see when she walks the hallway. Her polite manners and grace would tell you of her upbringing. But she is scarred, deeply wounded. She just knows the way to step up her game.

But tonight, after nearly two months of seeing Jacque, she became unsure of her stance. It was complicated from the very beginning, she was aware. To her understanding, Jacque was just another "client".

Like most men she's been with, Jacque is another unhappily married lad. A man textured with so much need for a "real woman's" affection & constantly seeking for attention. That, in the grand scheme of things, is Monica's guide to master her art of war.

"Jacque has effortless elegance," she confided one day. "And yet, he seemed to exude the perennial tiring mosaic of the kind of man I dislike."

I see her struggle to reason against becoming the victim of her own war. When she speaks of Jacque of late, there is an indescribable strangeness to her tone. Something that borders between enthusiasm & fear.

to be continued